INTRODUCTION TO ELAINE’S PROSE AND POETRY

Everyone processes their past in different ways. Healing and deliverance can come in many forms. The expression of tears, talking and writing are some of the ways I’ve been set free and healed from the baggage I carried into my new born again life.

I’ve wrestled with the decision of which poems to share with you. Some are very personal and wouldn’t make much sense unless you know some of my history. I’ve decided to share it all.

I was married for nineteen years to the love of my life. Within the first year of our marriage, he told me he was considering a sex change. My world was turned upside down for the next nineteen years as we dealt with this issue and the sexual perversion that sprung out of it. My love for him wouldn’t let me leave. Because of my own shame and fear of what people would think, I never told anyone about it until I had become so severely depressed and suicidal that I sought out profession help.

I decided I had to leave him for my own sanity’s sake. He wouldn’t change and the only one I could control was myself. After the divorce I was extremely confused. I drank heavily (went to two treatments for alcoholism within eight months), started a lesbian relationship, and still dealt with depression. I had a lot of unexpressed anger and resentments toward my husband.

I was dying inside. I got to just the right place to where I was willing to let my “higher power” help me out. The only problem was, I didn’t know who my “higher power” was.
I was living with a Christian woman who was redeveloping her relationship with God. We talked a lot and she planted a lot of seeds, but knew me well enough not to push me. Instead, she was a witness to me of how Jesus was changing her life.

One day, in the back yard, I listened to her Faith Study tape by Don Bierle on “The Fall of Evolution”. It totally dispelled the myth of evolution and convinced me of the truth of creationism. My spirit actually leaped within me when I realized that the Bible was true. It was so exciting. I knew at that instant my life would never be the same. My heart and mind were racing. I could barely comprehend the ramifications of all this.

My thoughts were – Wow! The Bible is really the word of God! God is real! Then Jesus must be real! God actually communicates to us through a tangible thing, the Bible! At that time I had no idea how this was going to change me, I just knew it would. And it did!

Now I am totally on fire for God and I can’t understand why anyone who truly believes in God, in Jesus, in the bible, isn’t totally on fire for him! Jesus is the center of my universe.

My prayer for you is that as you read the following prose and poetry that it will open your heart to God’s healing touch for your own issues.